A Guide to Christmas: Part One - Christmas Carols

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Here is my guide to the Christmas songs you hear in stores, on the radio, and some you may have on CD.

 1. If you don't know the words to a Christmas song that everyone else in the car/ house/ wherever you may be is singing, have no fear. You can just hum, or wait for less than a minute. They will probably start laughing and stop singing because they don't know the words either. If they can't make it through one verse of 'Joy to the World', that should be saying something.

2. If you feel the need to hit the person that wrote the song you happen to be listening to, try to just tune it out. That sometimes works. Otherwise, I fear you will have to just live with the terrible music. Sorry.

3. Expect the person singing to not be the best singer in the world. Always expect them to not be very good. There are some very good singers out there that are not afraid to sing Christmas music, so if you hear one that is really good, you can be happily surprised. I am not telling you to make fun of the people singing or anything like that, I am just saying that a lot of Christmas music singers aren't great.

4. If you can vaguely play any instrument under the sun, and you either tell people you can play or are forced to play in front of them, they will think you can play EVERY Christmas song under the Milky Way. And then they will make you play for them. And they will choose the weirdest song you can think of, like Jingle Bell Rock *twitch twitch*. 

5. Beware that there are several categories of Christmas music: Songs that actually celebrate Christ's birth or tell about that glorious time, songs that celebrate Santa, presents, and candy, and instrumental music that can be either. If you like the tune of some of the songs that celebrate Santa, presents, and candy, but don't like the words, here's an idea for you: Get an instrumental version and make up your own words to it.

Please remember that in this post, I am not saying anything bad about Christmas songs, the singers, or the people who wrote the songs. I am just stating that some Christmas songs aren't great, I've heard some really, really bad singers that are singing Christmas music, and I have no idea where some people get their ideas for their Christmas music, because they make it twisted and slightly morbid.

NOTE: NO REINDEER WERE HARMED IN THE MAKING OF THIS POST.